


I Got the Recipe (And It's Called Black Magic)

by FallingLikeThis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Celebrity Crush, Comedy, Famous Liam, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Insecure Louis, M/M, Magic, Popstar Liam, Pranks, Romantic Comedy, Spells & Enchantments, There's sort of almost Tomlinshaw, but no details, but not really, cheating exes, except, larry friendship, there's a mention of a blowjob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-06-05
Packaged: 2018-04-03 01:02:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4080565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingLikeThis/pseuds/FallingLikeThis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles will do anything for his best friend, Louis.<br/>Apparently, that even includes bring to life a cardboard cutout of one world famous popstar.</p><p>or </p><p>Louis needs to believe in love again, and with a little help from Almost-Liam Payne, Harry makes it happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Got the Recipe (And It's Called Black Magic)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [30shayds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/30shayds/gifts).



> I was so excited about this prompt. I was given a cardboard cutout of Harry for Christmas, so it seemed a bit like fate. I hope you like it.
> 
> Special thanks to my betas/friends who helped me see when I was headed for a snake habitat and made sure that I still had time to turn around. And extra special thanks to Z, who beta'd this last minute even though she was super, ultra busy with things of her own. It's always nice to know that I can count on you guys.
> 
> Title comes from "Black Magic" by Little Mix.

There’s a lively crowd at the pub when Harry shows up to meet his friends in the middle of the afternoon, a good twenty minutes late.

“Sorry, sorry,” He apologizes, removing his coat as they all throw him looks of fond exasperation. “We were late closing up the shop today.”

And that’s another mistake right there, mentioning the new-agey magic shop he works at. His pals all like to take the piss out of him for that one. Harry has always been a bit of a wanderer, never staying in one place for too long. His jobs are no exception but he’s had this one longer than most. He just likes the idea of magic… that you can make something of worth from a few herbs and items previously thought insubstantial.

Niall hops up from his seat once the mocking starts to die down, offering to get him a drink as Harry takes his rightful place next to Louis. Harry might have a tendency to move on from things relatively quickly but that isn’t the case with his best mate. Louis is the one constant in Harry’s life. They’re roommates, best mates, the dream team. Except Louis hasn’t been his usual self in a while. He’s been a bit sullen as of late. Ever since his break-up with Aiden. Harry sighs as Louis gives him a half-hearted grin and scoots over a bit to give him more room. He just wants his friend back.

Harry thanks Niall as he returns with his drink, watching as the Irish lad squeezes in on the other side of the booth next to Zayn. He tries to participate in the conversation but Nick, Zayn, and Louis are all arguing over some sports team that Harry has no interest in. He turns away to the bar where the television is tuned into a footy game just about to start. Liam Payne’s face pops up on the screen, about to start singing the national anthem.

“Oh, look, Louis. It’s your old boyfriend,” Nick interrupts what Louis is saying to gesture at the television.

“Oh, look, Nick. It’s me telling you to go fuck yourself,” Louis retorts, shooting Nick the middle finger and a sarcastic grin, not bothering to glance at the tv. He knows who Nick is referring to.

Harry grimaces. It may or may not be his fault that everyone now knows Louis had pined for Liam Payne back in year 12 at school before the pop star had auditioned for the X-factor a second time and ended up making it big.

“Now, now boys,” Harry scolds, ever the peacekeeper. “Can’t we all just get along?”

“Probably not,” Louis scoffs into his drink before swallowing down the last of it. “Anyway, I’ve got to head off.”

“What? Why?” Harry pouts. “I just got here.”

“You snooze, you lose, Curly,” Louis shrugs, patting Harry on the shoulder even as he pushes him over, nearly making him fall out of the booth. “Besides, I’ll see you later.”

Harry sighs again, letting Louis out so that he can grab his things and head out.

“Hey, Lou?” Harry calls before Louis can get far. “You alright?”

“I’m perfect, Haz,” Louis says with another of those smiles that is a weak imitation of its former self. “Never better.”

And Harry knows it’s not true. Louis hasn’t been okay for a while. But he also knows that there’s no pushing Louis to talk about something he doesn’t want to talk about. So, he lets it go, let’s Louis leave without further argument. And he hates that he doesn’t know how to make it better.

 

*****

 

So, Harry has an idea. It’s maybe a bit ridiculous, but _he’s_ a bit ridiculous, he’s been told, so this should work out nicely. He’s got all the ingredients and his co-worker, Alexa, is there to guide him through the process of casting the spell.

According to Alexa it’s the intent behind the spell that makes it work and the words aren’t so important. Which should help Harry, who’s never been the most articulate, but doesn’t because he has no idea what to say without a bit more guidance. The most he gets is “ _go with your heart_ ”. Which also isn’t helpful because Harry always goes with his heart. He doesn’t really know any other way to be.

Taking a deep breath, he tells himself he can _do this_. For Louis. He stares straight ahead at the cardboard cutout he bought earlier of one world famous pop star and focuses his intent on it.

“Um, roses are red. I’m an awesome friend. Give my best mate, Louis, faith in love again.”

Harry looks to Alexa and finds her trying to bite back a laugh at his rather rudimentary spell work but gives a nod that his words are good enough, so he raises his hand that’s filled with the mixture of powders and herbs that Alexa put together for him earlier, and blows it at the cardboard cutout.

Nothing immediately happens, which Alexa had already informed Harry would be the case. It still feels a bit anticlimactic though. So, Harry huffs an impatient sigh and packs away the cutout for the trip home. He thanks Alexa for her help before he leaves for the night. It was a nice try even if nothing comes of it. At the very least he’ll be giving Louis a gift that might make him laugh.

So, the only thing there is to do now, is wait and see what happens.

 

*****

 

“ _Fuck off_ ,” Is the first thing Harry hears when he opens the door to his shared flat.

Looking up from where he’s wrestling his key from the door to make sure he’s not the one being addressed, Harry sees Louis sitting on the couch in a t-shirt and boxers, talking on the phone as he stares intently at the television.

“Well, maybe if you’d get your head out of your arse,” Louis grumbles into the phone, throwing a wave Harry’s way without even a glance in his direction.

So, Louis’ on the phone to Nick apparently. Honestly, the way they go off at each other, Harry’s surprised they’re friends at all.

Hiding the hulking cutout of Liam Payne behind his back as best he can, Harry scurries behind the couch, and subsequently Louis, to the other boy’s room to set it up as a surprise for Louis when he’s done on the phone.

When he gets back to the living room, Louis is muttering to himself, phone no longer at his ear.

“Such a prick,” Louis mumbles.

“Why do you talk to him, if he’s such a prick,” Harry asks, sitting next to Louis on the couch, allowing his friend to cuddle his shoulder.

“Well, I can’t be bothering you at work when I get bored, can I? Nick may be a prick but he’s relatively entertaining,” Louis explains, eyes remaining on the television.

“I brought you something,” Harry tells him after a quiet minute watching some reality show.

“Is it food?” Louis asks, hopefully. “I’m starved.”

“No,” Harry grins down at the pathetic face Louis makes at him. “It’s in your room.”

“Look, I know we’re best mates and all, and I’ve been a bit lonely since Aiden left, but I think buying me sex toys is crossing some kind of line, H,” Louis scoffs, lifting his head from Harry’s shoulder to fix him with a dubious look.

“It’s not a sex toy!” Harry laughs before pausing. _Well. If all goes according to plan…_ No. It’s not a sex toy. Harry refuses to look at it like that.

Apparently, having caught Harry’s thoughtful look, Louis doesn’t believe him.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Go look,” Harry urges, pushing Louis playfully.

Louis sighs but rises from the couch, purposefully kicking Harry in the shin as he passes.

Harry follows, wanting to see Louis’ reaction.

Louis opens the door to his room, flicks on the light, and “ _Holy—!”_

Louis jumps when he catches sight of the life-sized Liam Payne standing directly in front of him.

“Fuck!” Louis curses, hand over his rabbiting heart as he rounds on Harry, who’s _laughing_ _at him_.

“Why would you do that? Are you trying to kill me, Curly?”

Harry mirrors Louis, hand to his chest as he struggles for breath from laughing so hard. There are tears on his cheeks. He honestly hadn’t thought of the possibility of a life-sized figure in Louis’ room possibly scaring the shit out of him. He feels a bit guilty about it even as he tries, and fails, to stop laughing.

Louis’ eyes are narrowing by the second and Harry can already tell that he’s planning revenge.

“I’m sorry, Lou,” Harry spits out between laughs. “I thought it would be funny.”

Louis raises a brow at that and Harry barely has time to figure out where he went wrong with that statement.

“For you! I thought it would make _you_ laugh. Or at least smile,” Harry tells him as he calms down. He’s pleading for forgiveness, really. At least, with his eyes. Because he can’t get his lips to stop quirking up into a smile.

He’s a little surprised when Louis lets him put his arms around him in an embrace as he explains.

“You’ve been so down lately. I just wanted to make you feel better,” Harry declares, squeezing Louis tight.

Louis sighs, heavily. That’s a thing he does a lot, it seems. Sighing. Heavily. Like a hormonal teenager. Fuck, he’s basically a hormonal teenager right now, isn’t he? He lets his plans for vengeance slip away in the face of Harry’s utter sincerity. He kind of hates Harry sometimes because he takes all the fun out of retaliation. Except for, you know, the part where he loves the cuddly bastard.

“You’re forgiven _this time_ ,” Louis promises, letting himself relish the embrace for a minute before pulling himself from Harry’s grasp. “Now, make me dinner, twat.”

Harry chuckles, but does as he’s told.

Louis watches him go before turning to the cutout of Liam Payne that he apparently now owns.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do with you?” He wonders. He briefly considers getting rid of it because, really, what was Harry thinking? There’s nothing better at making you forget your heartache like a giant fucking reminder of your first unrequited crush. Still, he knows Harry’s heart was in the right place, is _always_ in the right place. So, he berates himself for being anything less than appreciative of his best mate’s attempt at cheering him up before moving it to a corner of his room where it’s not likely to startle him every time he opens his door.

It doesn’t help.

Despite being aware that it’s there, Louis jumps every time he walks by and catches sight of it from the corner of his eye. He’s maybe reconsidering that whole revenge thing by the time he goes to bed.

 

*****

 

“You almost ready, Lou?” Harry asks as he rushes past Louis’ room on his way to the loo. “The lads are already waiting for us at the pub.”

“Almost,” Louis answers as he runs his fingers through his hair one last time, Liam Payne smiling at him from his corner of the room over Louis’ shoulder. He hasn’t really tried to look good. It hasn’t really been his priority of late to impress anyone. His heart’s just not been in it. He supposes he looks fairly nice though.

“What do you think, Liam?” Louis asks the cutout, keeping his eyes on his own reflection. “Do I look good enough to pull tonight?”

“You certainly do.”

“What the fuck?!” Louis screams and runs from his room. “HARRY!”

Harry comes running out of the bathroom, hand still pulling up his zipper. “What? What is it?”

Louis doesn’t say anything, he’s not sure he can breathe properly, just points to his room.

Harry looks where Louis is pointing and finds himself faced with Liam Payne. In the flesh. Liam waggles his fingers at him with a friendly smile.

“Holy shit,” Harry whispers in shock, hand coming up to cover his mouth. “It worked.”

“Worked?” Louis asks, a bit frantic as he grips Harry’s bicep and turns him around to look him in the face. “ _What_ worked?”

“I,” Harry can’t seem to _words_ as he goes from staring at Louis to Liam and back again. “I—”

“You _what_ , Harry?” Louis shakes him.

“I— Magic,” Harry finally gets out.

It takes only a nanosecond for the thought that this is somehow all a big prank to flash through Louis’ mind before flitting back out again. There’s no way that Harry’s astonishment is anything other than real. The boy is not that good of an actor.

But… magic?

“Seriously?” Louis asks, fearing that maybe both of them have lost their minds. “You magicked Liam Payne into my room?”

“I,” Harry fumbles with his words once more before simply shrugging at Louis, he seems to be coming to terms with the situation a bit better than Louis, at any rate. “Maybe?”

“Excuse me, but, um, actually,” Liam interjects as politely as possible, “I’m not the _real_ Liam Payne. I’m just a copy.”

“Oh. Yeah. That makes sense,” Louis nods very seriously. Because this is very serious. “A magic copy of Liam Payne is in my room because… Wait, _why_ is there a magic copy of Liam Payne in my room, _Harry_?”

Harry ducks his head at Louis’ accusatory tone. “To… help you… find faith in love again?”

He really has to stop letting his sentences come out as questions.

“To—” Louis starts to repeat Harry but then abandons the words in favor of pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Harry, I’ve told you. I’m _fine_.”

“No, you’re not.” _There’s_ that assertiveness Harry was looking for.

“Harry,” Louis sighs but stops when Harry grabs both of his shoulders and gives him his _serious_ face.

“No, Lou. You won’t talk about it. I still don’t know what happened with Aiden because you won’t tell me. And that’s fine. You don’t have to tell me everything. But whatever it was, it’s still got some kind of hold on you. I was just… trying to help. Your happiness is important to me, Lou.”

Louis pulls Harry into a hug, squeezing tight. “I get it, okay,” he says into Harry’s neck, “And thank you, for trying to help.”

Harry expects there to be a ‘but’ and is pleasantly surprised when it doesn’t come. “You’re welcome,” he says, smiling wide when Louis finally pulls away.

Of course, this is _Louis_ , so it doesn’t last long. Especially not when Louis smacks him over the back of the head.

“But in the future, I’d rather you fuck off,” Louis says with a smirk. And _there’s_ that ‘but’ he was waiting for. “Seriously, H, _what_ were you thinking? Magic? You could have, I don’t know, raised a demon or something.”

Harry rolls his eyes. Leave it to Louis to be overdramatic. “If you’d heard my spell, you wouldn’t be so worried. It kind of sucked.”

Louis raises a brow at Harry. “ _How_ does that help your argument?”

Which. “That’s a fair point,” Harry concedes, patting Louis’ shoulder before surprising him with a smack upside the head to mirror the one he’d given Harry. He’s already laughing as he backs out of reach and repeats Louis’ punchline back to him. “But in the future, I’d rather you fuck off.”

Louis freezes in open-mouthed shock at the _audacity_. “If you’ve messed up my hair, Curly…”

The noise of a throat being cleared loudly ends their playful argument very suddenly. Both boys look at Fake Liam expectantly.

“I care about your happiness, too,” Fake Liam says, tentatively holding out his arms for his own hug and showing all his teeth when he smiles at Louis, brows raised hopefully.

Louis stares. “Ok, family meeting,” he says to Harry and turns to go to the living room. An extra set of footsteps catches Louis’ attention and he turns back to find Liam following. “You aren’t invited, Magic Liam.”

Liam stops in his tracks. “Oh,” he says with a frown before shaking his head at himself. “Yeah, of course. Sorry.” He glances at Louis with such a kicked puppy look that Louis is immediately thinking of reconsidering.

Louis remembers that look. He was often the cause of that look back when they were in school together. God, he _hated_ that look. Why did Magic Liam have to be such an accurate copy? He can see Liam trudge back to his room and sit on the end of the bed to wait, shoulders hunched. Louis sighs. This going to be trouble.

 

*****

 

Liam looks around the pub as they enter. He’s vibrating with energy and the reproachful looks from Louis tell him that maybe he needs to tone it down a little. He just can’t help it, there’s life surging through his veins for the first time in… well, _ever_. And it feels good. He’s _alive_. There’s no telling how long he has. He knows his ‘condition’ comes with terms, it’s like the rules are hardwired into his brain, but he’s going to enjoy this while it lasts, however long that may be. He knows he’s at least got until sunrise.

“Stop fidgeting, Liam,” Louis hisses at him as he looks around for his friends with a fake smile plastered to his face.

“Sorry. I can’t help it,” Liam says, earning an exasperated glance.

The thing is, no matter how much they’ve tried to make him look a little less like Liam Payne, he still looks like Liam Payne. And people are noticing.

Liam knows that Louis didn’t want him to come out with them tonight but Harry hadn’t wanted to leave him behind. He likes Harry. Harry is nice. Not that he doesn’t like Louis. The boy has _something_ that draws people to him. He feels this inescapable urge to have Louis’ approval. So, really, he _can’t_ _help_ liking Louis. He’s just not so certain that Louis likes him.

“Tommo!”

Louis turns at the voice and his shoulders relax visibly as he grabs both Liam and Harry by the wrist and drags them to a booth where four other lads have already taken up residence.

“Holy shit, _that’s_ Liam Payne,” Niall laughs as Louis pushes his way into the booth and pulls Liam down to sit next to him.

“It’s really not,” Louis states with a roll of his eyes as Harry pulls up a chair and sits in it at the end of the circular booth.

“Guys, this is our new friend Leroy,” Harry introduces Liam with the identity they had come up with earlier. They’d decided they needed a cover story before they brought Liam out with them. “He’s a Liam Payne _impersonator_ from America.”

Somehow Liam doesn’t think the others are buying their story. Maybe it was the emphasis Harry put on the word impersonator, like he was trying to somehow give it a bit more credence, begging them to believe. Or the way that Louis muttered “ _jesus, Harry_ ” not quite as quietly as he’d meant to. If he had to put money on it though, Liam would guess it was the not at all subtle wink that Harry had thrown his way during his delivery.

“Hello,” Liam nods at the others, forgetting until it’s too late that he was supposed to _change his accent_. Louis elbows him in the ribs for it but he does his best not to react to the jab.

Nick, at least, notices and narrows his eyes at the pair of them. “You don’t _sound_ American.”

Louis scoffs at the other man. “It’s called method acting, Nicholas.”

Nick opens his mouth to retort but Harry breaks in, trying to end the battle of wits that’s sure to follow before it can start. “Actually, he prefers to be called Liam as well. It’s part of his process.”

That shuts Nick up really fast. If Harry is maintaining the story, then it _must_ be true. Harry isn’t one to go for the long con. Usually. When he’s playing around, he can’t keep a straight face to save his life.

“Hey, man. I’m Ed,” a very chill red-head says, reaching around Louis to shake Liam’s hand. “I get it. You’ve got to hone your craft.”

Liam shakes his hand, pleased that the previous tension at the table seems to be ebbing away. And then another hand is thrust at him. This one belongs to an extremely pretty boy that introduces himself as Zayn. Next is Nick, offering nothing more than a limp-wristed shake. He’s followed by Niall, who’s a delightful little laugh factory. He laughs at nearly everything, especially when it comes from Louis.

Liam immediately senses the group dynamic. Everything seems to revolve around Louis. Everyone looking to him for their cues. He’s the obvious leader of the group, but Liam isn’t so sure that it’s obvious _to Louis_ just how much power they’ve given him.

“I’m going to get a round of drinks,” Harry announces and drags Niall up to the bar with him to help carry everything back.

“So, _Liam_ , how does that work? Being an impersonator,” Nick chimes in as soon as Harry isn’t there to be a buffer.

“He works birthday parties and such. Don’t you, Liam?” Louis jumps in.

“I believe I was talking to Liam, Lou Lou,” Nick says with an arrogant tone. Of course, Louis thinks he always sounds arrogant. He also must have a death wish the way he brings out the hated nickname that Harry unintentionally started a few years ago when he was too drunk to manage his tongue.

“Well, then. By all means, talk to Liam.” Liam can hear the strain in Louis’ voice as he tries to reign in his annoyance. Louis turns from the conversation to strike up a chat with Ed while Zayn leans into Nick and stage whispers “ _Don’t be such a dick, mate_ ”. Liam just clasps his hands together on top of the table and pretends he isn’t noticing all the weirdness. He feels like an interloper, and apparently Nick sees him as one as well.

And then a thought strikes Liam. All the banter, the way he’s obviously bothered by Liam’s presence. Is Nick into Louis?

“So, Liam, have you appointed Louis as your manager or do you actually speak for yourself?” Nick’s voice breaks him out of his thoughts.

Zayn rolls his eyes at Nick ignoring his warning but doesn’t press.

“I speak just fine, mate. I just try not to respond to hostility,” Liam states with a placid smile. “It can make you sound like an arsehole.”

Beside him Louis snorts, amused, before holding out his hand for a fist bump which Liam promptly delivers. “Slay, Liam.”

“I always do,” Liam answers, grin growing as he takes in the happiness that Louis has directed his way.

“I think we’re going to get along just fine.”

 

*****

 

The others are spread out around the pub but Louis and Liam are still in the booth. Louis didn’t want to get up, so Liam stayed to keep him company. He’s trying to make conversation but Louis doesn’t seem incredibly receptive. Liam thinks that maybe Harry was right to worry about the lad.

“Do you want to—”

“No,” Louis answers before Liam can even finish his question.

Liam sighs as his eyes roam the bar looking for something that might interest Louis. There are several people looking their way. “Looks like you could have your pick if you really intended to pull,” Liam states earnestly.

Louis glances at him before trailing his eyes along the bar just as Liam’s done. “No, I couldn’t. They’re looking at you.”

“What? No they’re not,” Liam declares like he actually believes it.

Louis takes a deep breath, eyes on the ceiling as though he’s contemplating why some higher power saw fit to saddle him with Liam. Now that Liam thinks about it, he probably is.

“They think you’re the real Liam Payne, genius,” Louis finally says into his drink.

O _h._ Yeah. Liam hadn’t thought about that.

In a spectacular display of bad timing, Louis is proven right when a girl approaches, phone in hand and shyly asks for a photo.

“He’s not the real Liam Payne, you know,” Louis tells her, somewhat snidely. “He’s an impostor. Makes a living at it.”

The girl looks on the verge of backing away slowly so Liam smiles and tries to play it off.  “He means I’m an impersonator. I’m not really Liam but I’d be happy to take a photo if you wanted to play a little prank on your friends or something.”

“Oh, alright,” The girl smiles back, apparently liking the idea. “You look so much like him, they probably won’t believe me when I tell them the truth.”

Liam takes the phone from her and smiles for a selfie of the two of them before she’s thanking him and walking back to her group of friends.

Louis just rolls his eyes when Liam turns back to him.

“Have I done something? You seemed to not quite hate me earlier but now you’re back to merely tolerating my presence,” Liam asks, hurt shining from his chocolatey puppy eyes.

 _Such a fucking puppy_ , Louis thinks fondly before berating himself for it. Because this isn’t Liam, not really, but he’s bringing back all the ill-advised feelings that Louis used to have for Liam. He’s making Louis want things that aren’t possible. He’s just so similar to the boy that Louis used to know. The dry humor and the earnestness and the fucking expressive _eyes_ that Louis still dreams about on occasion, it’s all there.

“Sorry, mate,” Louis mutters sincerely, patting Liam’s shoulder. “It’s nothing you’ve done, it’s not your fault. I’m just… I don’t know.”

It’s not an answer. Not even close. But Liam accepts it. Louis knew he would.

“Come on,” Louis says, pushing Liam out of the booth. “I’ll buy you another drink.”

 

*****

 

Louis wakes up groaning, an ache behind his eyes and a throbbing in his temples. He may have imbibed a bit too much alcohol last night.

He tries to snuggle back into his pillow but finds that what he’s pressing his face into isn’t as soft and fluffy as he’d expected. It’s a solid, smooth, slightly damp surface and he lifts himself up to find that he’s cuddled up to a very large piece of cardboard. A Liam-shaped piece of cardboard that’s smiling at him cheerfully. Louis curses and pushes the cutout to the floor.

If he’s awakened cuddled to cardboard Liam, it means that he went to sleep cuddle up to _not_ cardboard Liam. And who knows what rubbish had spilled from his lips when he was drunk and curled up next to a warm body that only serves to remind him of unfulfilled desires. Louis resents that he has to live with the not knowing, and the embarrassment of what he hopes he _didn’t_ say, while Liam gets to relax on the floor, totally ignorant of Louis’ crisis.

Theoretically, he went to bed knowing the rules of Liam’s condition after the chat they’d had at the pub last night. He’d been told that Liam would revert to his natural state at sunrise, allowed to come to life again only after the sun had set once more. And he’d do so every night until his task of helping Louis find faith in love was complete. _In theory_ , Louis had known that. But _realistically_ , Louis was far too smashed by the time Liam had told him to actually retain the information when he’d been drunk, lonely, and in need of a cuddle.

_Look at the smug bastard. Just chilling on the floor._

You know that saying, misery loves company? Well, misery, thy name is Louis.

He grabs a sharpie from the floor and proceeds to draw a large dick on Liam’s formerly pristine face, pointing right at the boy’s mouth. Satisfied with his work, Louis throws the marker somewhere and picks up the cutout to place him back in his spot in the corner of Louis’ room.

When he turns and finds two paracetamol and a glass of water on his bedside table, he considers feeling bad but then decides that, nah, Liam still deserves a dick on his face.

 

*****

 

There’s a game on tonight and Louis and Harry have the best television of all their friends, so most of the guys are coming over to watch it. That means that Louis’ sitting on the kitchen counter watching as Harry prepares snacks for their guests (“Trust me, Harold, I’m helping by _not_ helping”) when Liam emerges from Louis’ room.

Apparently, he hadn’t caught his reflection in Louis’ mirror when he’d walked by because he has a friendly smile on his face and big, black dick on his cheek.

Harry freezes when he sees him, eyes wide. “Um, you have something right…,” Harry gestures to his cheek with a flour covered hand.

“What? I haven’t even done anything,” Liam looks confused as he rubs at his cheek. “Did I get it?”

“Uh, no,” Harry informs him, obviously trying to think of a polite way to tell someone they have a dick on their face while Louis bites his lip and covers his mouth, fighting the laughter for as long as humanly possible.

“Maybe you should go look in the mirror,” Harry finally tells him, turning to Louis with a disapproving glare once Liam’s gone.

Louis can’t help it. He loses it. Laughter escaping, loud and joyous.

Harry doesn’t have it in him to actually reprimand the boy when he sees how content Louis is.  Because Louis hasn’t been this happy in quite a while. He turns back to his hors d'oeuvres and fights a smile himself.

“Louis!” Liam yells from the bathroom, causing another round of laughter. He comes back in the kitchen, giving Louis a look that says he’s _not impressed_. Then, proceeds to pull Louis down from the counter and drag him to the bathroom to help clean the dick off his face.

Listening to Liam’s grumbles (that don’t sound quite as irritated as they probably should) and Louis’ continued laughter as they go, Harry can’t help but think that maybe his little foray into magic wasn’t all that ridiculous after all.

 

*****

 

“Quit squirming,” Louis orders as he scrubs at Liam’s face.

Liam frowns but obeys. Louis had put something on his face before he’d started scrubbing, insisting that it would work to remove the marker from his skin. Big surprise, it’s not working. And it’s causing this icy, hot feeling that’s not entirely comfortable. Hence, the squirming.

When he can’t quite keep still, Louis huffs at him and glares. Liam knows he’s not too agitated though, he can still see a bit of mirth in Louis’ eyes.

“I’m going to get you back for this, you know,” Liam informs him seriously as Louis takes another swipe at his cheek.

“Do your worst, Payno,” Louis smirks, completely unbothered by the threat. He remembers Liam’s idea of a prank back when they were in school together. And, objectively, he knows this isn’t the same Liam but they’re so similar, Louis thinks he’ll be fine.

“I will,” Liam promises. It’s so adorable how he actually believes that his worst is something to fear.

“You should stop talking if you actually want me to get this off,” Louis says, fighting down his fondness.

“Doesn’t matter, I guess,” Liam says with a shrug. “We’re not going anywhere tonight, right? No one’s going to see me.”

Of course, then the doorbell rings and Louis’ laughing at him again.

 

*****

 

“Have a good night, Liam?” Nick asks, brow raised as he sees the faded but still very clear outline of a dick on Liam’s cheek.

“It was pretty good, actually. Thanks for asking, mate,” Liam answers, studiously ignoring what Nick is actually referring to.

Niall laughs heartily while Louis scowls at Nick and pulls Liam away to sit next to him on the couch. Apparently, Louis is the only one who gets to make jokes at Liam’s expense.

Half an hour into the game, the drinks are flowing and the banter is flying. Because, of course, Louis and Nick are rooting for opposing teams. Liam thinks Louis does it on purpose, disagreeing with Nick out of spite rather than an abiding love for the team he’s cheering. Everyone else finds it all terribly entertaining and Liam is once again under the impression that he’s quite possibly watching them _flirt_.

Maybe this is what he’s here for. Maybe he’s supposed to lead Louis to Nick.

The thought leaves Liam feeling unsettled. And he’s not entirely certain that it’s just because he doesn’t want to give this up, this _life_ thing he’s got going. He pushes the thought away. He’s not here for himself, he’s here to help Louis. And that’s what he’s going to do.

At the next break, while everyone else is in the kitchen replenishing their snack and drink supply, Liam broaches the subject.

“I think Nick likes you.”

Louis turns to him, eyes wide and lips frozen in a kind of grimace, like Liam has just said something truly terrifying. Like _I’m a serial killer_ or _boybands have been outlawed_.

“You should see where that goes,” Liam continues, ignoring the look Louis is giving him.

“No more alcohol for you, Li,” Louis states finally, plucking the drink from Liam’s hands. “You’ve _clearly_ had too much.”

Liam begins to protest but Louis is already downing the drink himself. So, Liam doesn’t say anything else about it but when everyone returns from the kitchen, he makes sure that the only place for Nick to sit is right next to Louis.

By the time the game is over, Louis is _really_ drunk. Like, more drunk than usual. And he’s maybe considering what Liam said. He’s so fucking lonely that he’s considering Nick fucking Grimshaw. Or maybe a couple of those words are supposed to be switched around. He doesn’t know, he’s _drunk_.

“You’re not a completely terrible person,” Louis grumbles at him.

“Thank you, Louis,” says Nick, who is not even close to being drunk. “That’s a lovely sentiment.”

“And your hair isn’t _always_ ridiculous,” Louis barrels on.

Nick freezes, turning to Louis with a smile that is far too amused for Louis’ liking. “Are you _flirting_ with me, Tomlinson?”

“Knew you weren’t a total idiot,” Louis says, leaning in and getting awfully close to Nick’s face before he pulls back suddenly. “Ew. No. I can’t do it. It’s too gross.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Nick laughs, patting Louis’ thigh and rising from the couch to leave with the others.

Louis slumps back into the couch and stays there while Harry plays the good host and sees everyone to the door.

Liam watches him from the armchair he’d stolen from Nick, while Louis contemplates if he has enough blackmail material on Nick for mutually assured destruction should Nick ever tell _anyone_ what Louis almost did tonight.

“You’re a sucky love guru,” Louis tells Liam, rising from the couch and slogging off to bed, using the walls to help himself stay upright.

Liam can’t really argue with that. Which might have something to do with the fact that he doesn’t _want_ to be Louis’ guru. The other part doesn’t sound so bad though. _Love_. Liam wonders what that’s like as he grabs the medicine Louis is sure to need for his inevitable headache in the morning and a glass of water. He puts them on Louis’ table and pulls the covers up over the sleeping boy, before retreating to the living room.

Harry is in there watching some romantic comedy and Liam joins him. He can feel Harry’s eyes on him but ignores it in favor of watching everything go wrong on screen just before it all starts to go right again.

“Alright, Liam?” Harry asks after a few minutes.

“Yeah, Harry. Everything’s great,” Liam answers.

He thinks they both know that’s not entirely true.

 

*****

 

Louis wakes up groaning, an ache behind his eyes and a throbbing in his temples. Again. He may have imbibed a bit too much alcohol last night. _Again._ The only difference this time is that Liam is nowhere to be seen.

Louis takes the medicine set out for him, drinks the water, and gets up to go in search of his favorite piss poor excuse of a love guru.

He finds the cutout of Liam laid out across the couch, like maybe he slept there, the dick on his cheek still faintly visible. Louis picks up cardboard Liam and carries him back to his room, placing him on the bed instead of setting him up in the corner like he’s been doing.

He showers, gets dressed, joins Harry for breakfast, and then heads to work.

When he gets home, he has a plan for the night. They’re going out, he’s going to pull, and he’s going to get out of this slump that he’s been in ever since his crappy ex-boyfriend cheated on him and told him he wasn’t good enough to stick around for.

He gets Harry on board with his plan, grabs a glass of water, and sits on his bed to wait out the last few minutes before sunset.

Eyes never leaving his cardboard comrade, Louis throws the water the second Liam shifts into real-boy mode.

He laughs gleefully as a drenched Liam gasps, water dripping from his face.

Liam narrows his eyes.

“What are you going to do, Liam?” Louis taunts, absolutely sure that the other boy’s got nothing.

Liam lunges forward and wraps Louis in a wet hug, nuzzling his dripping face into Louis’ neck as Louis wriggles, laughing and trying to break his hold.

“Joke’s on you, Tommo,” Liam says, finally letting Louis go. “You’re the one who has to sleep in the wet spot.”

“Um,” Harry tentatively interjects from the doorway, barely hiding a pleased smirk. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Shut up,” Louis says in lieu of an answer. “Go get dressed, Harold. Liam, take a shower. We’re going out.”

And well, what Louis says goes, so they both hop to it.

 

*****

 

_Ok, this isn’t fair._

Louis watches Liam as he dances with anyone and everyone, looking far better than he has any right to. He’d come out from his shower with cheeks scrubbed pink, no trace of Louis’ handiwork left behind and proceeded to steal the most provocative of Harry’s outfits that he could possibly get away with without chancing a public indecency charge.

When Louis had suggested going to a club instead of the pub, he had envisioned _him_ being out on the dance floor, eating up all the attention. Adoring admirers on every side. And, _no_ , Liam _wasn’t_ one of them. Shut up.

Sure, Louis’ had offers, quite a few actually, but he hasn’t been interested in any of the men calling him _baby_ and plying him with free drinks. Which, is kind of the opposite of how this was supposed to go. Louis was supposed to be in the middle of a Louis-centric orgy by now. Well, okay, maybe he wouldn’t go _that far_. But a threesome maybe? That would work.

Louis sighs and takes another sip of his drink, feigning interest in the man who bought it for him.

“Hey, babe,” Louis hears, and hopes desperately that the other man’s previously unmentioned significant other has just arrived. But then there’s a warm hand on his neck and a press of soft lips against his cheek and Louis realizes that _he’s_ the one being addressed.

Turning into the caress, he finds Liam at his side, looking at him adoringly. And _that_ absolutely doesn’t start a fury of butterflies fluttering in his stomach. Louis knows what Liam’s doing, he’s saving him from an unwanted admirer, but Louis is more than happy to take advantage of Liam’s kindness. Just one little moment of weakness doesn’t make him a bad person, does it? He’ll ponder that later. After he lets his lips meet Liam’s. After he wraps his arms around Liam’s neck and pulls him closer. After he teases Liam’s mouth open with his tongue. After he gets a taste of everything he’s been wanting but wouldn’t admit to himself.

Liam holds Louis just as tight, like maybe he’s been wanting it, too. And Louis imagines what they’d be like together _for real_. He lets himself imagine a life with Liam. And that, more than anything is what makes him break away. Because he can’t _have_ a life with Liam when Liam is only alive half the time. He’s a fucking cardboard cutout and Louis’ let himself develop _feelings._  What the fuck was he thinking?

Louis wrenches out of Liam’s arms and walks away. Or tries to, but Liam doesn’t seem like he’s going to let Louis get away with that. He grabs Louis’ arm and spins him around, confusion and hurt taking over his features.

“Louis, what’s wrong?”

“ _This is_ ,” Louis answers pulling his arm from Liam’s grasp. “We can’t do this, Liam.”

“Why not?” Liam asks with earnest curiosity.

“Because it’s not _real_ , Liam,” Louis says feeling guilty even as the words make their way out of his traitorous mouth. “ _You’re_ not real.”

When Louis turns to leave this time, Liam doesn’t try to stop him.

 

*****

 

Harry feels like shit. He maybe has a bit _too much_ faith in love and fate and all those other things that Louis finds nonsensical at the best of times. So, of course, he’d chosen someone Louis once had feelings for to be his love guide or whatever. Sue him, he’s a romantic. And now, Louis’ in worse shape than he was before.

Harry _sucks_ at this helping thing.

Also, Liam is looking like someone told him there’s no such thing as Santa Claus. So, that’s Harry’s fault, too.

He looks at the picture he took last night of Liam and Louis kissing at the club. It was supposed to be a triumphant reminder of his success at showing Louis what he’s been pushing away for so long. And something he could lord over both boys next time one of them picked on Harry for being overly affectionate. Because in Harry’s world, once a couple gets together, that’s supposed to lead to the happy ending. The struggle is supposed to be over. Maybe he’s just had it too easy in his love life, with all of his exes remaining his friends long after the relationship fizzled out but he just didn’t expect one shining moment of perfection before it all came crumbling down.

Maybe Harry should stop meddling. _Or_ , Harry thinks as he gets another crazy idea, _maybe a bit more meddling is in order_.

A few swipes of the keyboard on his phone and the picture is posted to the internet.

 _There_. It’s done. All the pieces are in play. Harry just hopes he can make it so that _everybody_ wins.

 

*****

 

A weeks goes by.

A _week_ of Liam pining, Louis pretending everything is normal, and Harry trying not to pull out all his hair.

Liam has taken to staying in the living room. He doesn’t want to make Louis uncomfortable by being around when he obviously doesn’t want the same things Liam wants. And it’s not like Liam can blame him. The things Louis said, his reasons for pushing Liam away, aren’t untrue. Liam _isn’t_ real, at least not all the time. And one day he’ll go back to being completely not real. At this rate, it could take ages because Louis hasn’t been going out anymore and Liam isn’t quite as inclined to help him find someone to love as he once was.

Louis doesn’t really let him keep his distance though. He hangs out with Liam, joking with him just like he would Harry, just like he used to _before_. He seems a bit dejected when he goes to his room alone at night, like he expects Liam to follow. Which is just all kinds of confusing. _Mixed signals much_?

Harry watches it all with a mixture of frustration and affection, like he knows what they’re doing, why they’re dancing around each other, and he just wants to smack some sense into both of them but he’s too nice to actually do it. Maybe he could get Nick to do it.

And his last plan obviously didn’t work, otherwise they wouldn’t all be sitting in uncomfortable silence in the living room while—

There’s a knock on the door, jolting them all out of their individual dilemmas.

Harry looks to Louis and Liam but they both just shrug, neither of them expecting visitors (really, who would Liam expect anyway?). Shrugging himself, Harry gets up to answer the door.

“Hello, Harry,” Real Liam Payne greets with a genuine smile.

“Liam!” Harry returns, reaching out to hug the pop star. They’d gotten kind of close back in school before Liam had ascended into pop star fame.

“What is it, Harry?” Liam comes out of the living room to see why Harry called his name and freezes.

 _Oh_. Apparently Harry wasn’t talking to him.

“Wow. I knew you looked like me but this is incredible” Real Liam Payne states as his arms drop from Harry’s sides. “Who are you?”

“No one,” Liam answers, taking a step back.

“What’s going on, lads?” Louis calls as he comes to see what’s keeping everyone.

“Holy fucking shit,” He says upon setting his sights on Liam, the one he’d been head over heels for when he was a teenager. “Liam Payne.”

Real Liam smiles back at him. “Louis Tomlinson. Still curse like a sailor, I see.”

Louis scoffs. “Sailors—”

“Wish they cursed like you,” Real Liam finishes for him. “I remember.”

Louis’ heart flutters. Real Liam remembers him. Maybe even fondly.

“Um, what are you doing here, Liam?” Harry questions, though, as someone who knows Harry far too well, his delivery sounds a bit forced to Louis.

“Oh! I came to meet my twin apparently,” Real Liam answers, reaching behind him to take something from the hulking giant still loitering outside. His bodyguard.

He holds up a tabloid, a picture of Liam and Louis kissing splashed across the front page, title announcing “ **Liam Payne Gay**?!?”

Real Liam keeps talking as they all gawk. “My lawyers wanted to sue for defamation of character or something but I thought I should check it out myself before anyone did anything rash.”

Louis glances between the two Liams before settling on his childhood crush. “How did you find us?”

“I recognized you from the photo, so I looked you up. Well, I had someone else do it. I’m not all that good with computers and such,” Real Liam answers, gravitating toward Louis’ Liam. “I was hoping you could point me in the right direction. Looks like you have.”

When Real Liam finishes his speech with another of those absolutely genuine smiles of his, Louis knows that they’ll be okay. His old crush is still one of the good guys.

“Liam meet Leroy,” Harry introduces the two Liams. “He’s an impersonator. He makes a living playing you. But not under false pretenses! Everyone goes into it knowing that he’s not really you.”

Harry scrambling to protect him, makes Liam feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It’s nice having true friends. He’s going to miss this when the spell breaks. You know, if cardboard figures can miss things.

Liam shakes Real Liam’s hand when it’s offered and stands still so the other man can look him over.

“It’s uncanny, mate. You even have my birthmark,” Real Liam says, pointing at the spot on his neck.

“It’s a tattoo,” Liam declares, shrugging. “People were always telling me I looked like you. Might as well make the transformation complete, yeah?”

Real Liam laughs. “How’d you think to make a job of it?”

“If you’re good at something, don’t do it for free, right?” Liam answers. He thinks he sees Louis beaming at him with pride at his ability to pull this shit out of his arse so easily. That’s definitely a trait that Louis would respect.

“Ha,” Real Liam barks. “That’s absolutely right.”

There’s a pause in conversation but then he’s speaking again.

“So, I have a proposal.”

“Liam, I know you’re amazing but marrying yourself might be a bit much,” Louis jokes.

For a second Real Liam looks like he doesn’t get the joke but then comprehension dawns. “ _Oh_. That’s funny.”

“Yep,” Louis nods proudly. “That’s me. The funny one.”

There’s another moment of silence. It’s kind of awkward.

“So, here’s my proposal,” Real Liam is quick to get back to the situation at hand. “I take a picture of us together, post it on Instagram, and caption it ‘winner of the Liam Payne lookalike contest’. That way, everyone will know there’s two of us, tabloids get off my back, and we can see about drumming you up a bit more business. It’s win-win for everyone!”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Liam answers.

“Sick,” Real Liam says and takes the picture right away. He taps a few things on his phone and then it’s done. “Great.”

They all stand around for another minute before Harry remembers his manners.

“Did you want to come in? Sit? Hang out for a bit?” Harry offers.

“Oh, no. I couldn’t. I have to get on the road soon,” Real Liam answers looking honestly disappointed. “Raincheck though?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Harry agrees, reaching in to hug Real Liam goodbye.

Louis hugs him too and Liam gets another handshake, and then Real Liam is waving goodbye and walking out the door with “ _you should work on the accent, mate, it’s a little wonky_ ”.

It should be funny. It’s a little funny. But things are really awkward right now, so it kind of falls flat.

“That was a nice surprise,” Harry says before hurrying back to the living room.

“You should go talk to him before he leaves,” Liam states before Louis can walk away too.

“What? No. Why would I do that?”

Liam rolls his eyes. “I’m not as dense as you seem to think I am, Louis. You like him, right?”

“I used to. When we were in school,” Louis affirms, trying to pass Liam to follow after Harry.

“You still do,” Liam stresses, stepping in the way to block Louis’ path. “ _He’s_ real, Louis. Go see if you could be something real _together_.”

Louis studies his face before apparently deciding that Liam is right. He lunges forward, squeezing Liam tight for a brief moment before rushing out the door.

And Liam thinks that this might be what love is: sacrificing what you want for yourself to make the other person happy.

 

*****

 

“Liam?” Louis calls as he chases down the other man.

He stops when Real Liam turns, suddenly unsure what to say.

“I’m sorry,” he starts with. “If that picture is messing with your career or something. We didn’t know that anyone was taking pictures.”

“It’s okay, Louis,” the pop star says. “There’ve been a few mean tweets and the like but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Right,” Louis nods. “I just don’t want to cause false rumors at your expense.”

“Well, technically, it’s not false,” Real Liam states with a shrug. “I mean, I’m not completely gay, but I am bisexual.”

“Oh,” Well, _that’s_ good to know. “I had such a crush on you in school.”

Louis blushes as the words just kind of slip out. He hadn’t been planning on his declaration being quite so embarrassing.

“Really?”

If Louis isn’t mistaken, the pop star is looking at him with renewed interest.

“I had a crush on you, too.”

Nope. Not mistaken.

“Do you, maybe, want to go to dinner sometime? With me?” Louis asks and he feels like he’s back in his sixteen-year-old body, trembling with nerves because he’s in like with his first boy.

“I don’t have long, but are you busy right now?”

Louis smiles and blushes a bit because there’s a gentleman holding a car door open for him. He hops inside and dares to let himself hope that this is all leading somewhere worthwhile.

 

*****

 

**_On a date with Liam! Don’t wait up._ **

 

When Harry gets the text, he wonders if he’s made a horrible mistake.

Liam, _their_ Liam, sulks on the couch and Harry keeps him company, knowing that the last thing he wants is to be alone right now.

“He’s not coming back tonight, is he?” Liam asks, miserably.

“There, there, Liam,” Harry coos, pulling the other boy into a cuddle.

“Don’t you mean Leroy?”

“Shush,” Harry scolds, cradling Liam closer. “I’m trying to comfort you, don’t interrupt.”

Liam chuckles sadly and Harry gives him a matching smile.

“You’ll be okay, you know,” Harry promises.

“I know,” Liam agrees. “As long as he’s happy.”

Harry combs him fingers soothingly through Liam’s hair. It feels nice.

They fall asleep like that, Harry offering comfort and Liam readily accepting it.

 

*****

 

Louis has made a terrible mistake.

The Liam Payne that he’s on a date with is nothing like the Liam Payne that he once thought himself enamored of. He’s still a lovely person. Kind and honest. But he’s got no time for Louis’ antics, for _Louis’_ version of fun. Where the old Liam Payne would have rolled his eyes but let Louis get away with nearly anything, pop star Liam Payne gets frustrated. He tries to push his frustration aside, to hide it and salvage their date, like he’s still hoping that they could have something together. It warms Louis’ heart. But not in the way he expected. It hits him quite suddenly that all Louis feels for this Liam is friendship. And he’s pretty sure that’s all he’ll ever feel.

There’s a strange sort of disconnect going on because Louis is definitely attracted to Liam, his fit body and warm smile. But he’s not attracted to his personality. Not _this_ Liam’s personality anyway. And Louis realizes that somewhere along the way, he stopped thinking of this Liam as _Real_ Liam Payne because this Liam is the one that isn’t real to him anymore. This one is the strange impostor in Louis’ life. And his real Liam is the one that he left behind in search of something better. He’s just like his ex, isn’t he?

Louis is an idiot.

Because there _is_ nothing better than his Liam.

“I’m sorry, Liam,” Louis interrupts whatever story his date’s been telling while he’s been having a little quiet introspection. “You’re really sweet, but this just isn’t working. I’ve got to go.”

He takes out his wallet and throws down what is hopefully enough money to cover his half of the meal, leans over to kiss Liam’s cheek, and runs home as fast as his legs will carry him.

 

*****

 

“What the fuck is this?”

The harsh tone of Louis’ voice startles Liam and Harry awake at once.

“Louis,” Harry starts, like he’s going to explain. Like he’s done anything that _needs_ explaining. Louis knows better.

“Where are _my_ cuddles?” Louis continues, pilling on top of the two of them before Harry actually believes that Louis is angry when he has no right to be.

“I’m sure Liam Payne would give you some,” Liam grouses.

“Alright then, Liam Payne,” Louis addresses him. “Give us a good cuddle.”

“I meant the real Liam,” Liam retorts even as he does as Louis has asked, pulling the boy close and cuddling the hell out of him.

Louis turns to face Liam, cupping his cheek.  “You _are_ the real Liam. At least, to me you are.”

Liam seems stunned. “But _before_ , you said—”

“Forget what I said before. I was an idiot,” Louis interrupts. “Listen to what I’m saying _now_. I want you, Liam James Leroy Payne. For however long I can, in whatever way I can. How do you feel about that?”

Liam smiles and tugs Louis closer. “Favorable.”

Louis kisses him then and Liam gets lost in it, the wet slide of Louis’ lips, the warm brush of Louis’ tongue, the way Louis’ fingers grip tight into his hair.

“Um, guys?” Harry calls tentatively. “Unless you just _really_ have your heart set on me watching, could you let me up?”

Louis lifts himself off of Harry’s lap, pulling Liam with him and leads his boy to their bedroom.

Harry watches them go feeling elated that just this once, he seems to have played all his cards right. He doesn’t know how, but _somehow_ he knows they’ll all be alright.

 

*****

 

Liam wakes because there’s a bright light shining in his eyes. He squints them open to see the sun shining through Louis’ curtains and groans. He’s too tired for this.

“Louis, babe,” Liam nudges his boyfriend. “Go close your curtains.”

Louis nudges him right back, still half-asleep on Liam’s chest. “You close them, they’re your curtains now, too.”

“Please,” Liam whines. “The sun is in my eyes.”

Louis’ body becomes rigid against him and then Louis is sitting up, wide awake. “The sun?”

He peers at the window and then back down at Liam.

“Liam, it’s morning!”

“I know, babe, but I’m still tired,” Liam says pulling Louis back down. If he’s not going to close the curtains, the least he can do is keep snuggling.

“No, Liam. It’s morning and you’re still here,” Louis bounces on him excitedly. “How is that possible?”

Liam finally pries his eyes all the way open and stares at the window before turning to his boyfriend with a grin. “Magic.”

Louis swats him on the chest.

And then gives him a celebratory blowjob.

 

~3 Months later~

 

“Liam?” Louis calls as he walks in the door. “Babe, you home?”

“I don’t think your boyfriend would like you calling me that,” Harry calls from the kitchen. He’s preparing to have a date over and Louis and Liam have promised to make themselves scarce for the night.

“Don’t be silly, Harry,” Louis replies, entering the kitchen and attempting to steal one of Harry’s delicious looking appetizers. “Liam’s got no problem with me calling you babe. We’re both just waiting for you to agree to that threesome.”

“Please, leave,” Harry says with a playfully stern glare as he swats at Louis’ thieving hands.

“Alright, alright,” Louis concedes. “I just need to find my boy and we’ll be out of your hair.”

“I think he’s in your room.”

Louis goes to his room and glances inside. He doesn’t see Liam and he’s about to back out and look elsewhere when his eyes fall to the bed.

“What?! No, no, no,” Louis mutters desperately as he rushes closer, sinking down onto the bed next to the cardboard cutout of his boyfriend. “HARRY!”

“What? What is it?” Harry races into the room, skidding to a stop next to his shocked best friend. “Oh my god, Louis. I’m so sorry.”

Louis turns to unleash some righteous anger and finds a grinning Liam standing in the doorway.

“I told you I’d get you back for all those pranks you used to pull on me,” he says like he didn’t just stop Louis fucking heart.

“You bastard,” Louis yells, hurling himself at Liam and holding him tighter than he knew he was capable. “That wasn’t funny.”

Liam kisses Louis’ temple and allows himself to be held. “It was a little funny.”

“You’re such a prick,” Louis grumbles affectionately.

“You like my prick,” Liam responds.

“Yeah, well, I won’t be touching it tonight, after that stupid prank of yours.”

“Both of you get your pricks out of the house before my date gets here,” Harry says pushing them out of their own room and out the front door.

“We’re going,” Louis gripes as he grabs his coat and follows Liam out. “Don’t get your knickers in a twist.”

“There’s not enough knickers to my knickers to get them to twist,” Harry says, wiggling his eyebrows at them.

“Threesome. Think about it,” Louis jokes as Liam rolls his eyes at the two of them.

“Oh, and Louis?” Harry calls causing Louis to turn back to him.

“What?”

 “Tell me again how I can’t act,” Harry says with an evil smirk, cackling as he closes the door in Louis’ face.

“He was in on it?” Louis whirls on Liam.

“It was actually his idea.”

So, Louis may have a newfound respect for Harry’s pranking prowess.

“You know what would be funny?” Louis asks after a good thirty seconds of planning.

Liam knows that look in his eye. “Ruining Harry’s date?”

“See?” Louis grins, leaning in and giving his boyfriend a quick kiss. “It’s like you were _made_ for me.”

Now, see, _that’s_ funny.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first foray into an in depth Lilo. I think I'd like to try it again.  
> Thanks for reading!


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